Although a lot of thought is given over to potential opponents in martial arts - either in the form of sparring classmates or that would-be attacker - it seems more and more to me that karate is all about the person doing it and less about other people.
I have recently begun to think less about others - how I am doing vs. how they are doing - and more about what I am doing. Sparring I now realize, is not fighting. It's about me making contact with my opponents body without causing injury or pain and not letting them do the same to me. If it were a fight, it would be a free for all, anything goes business. It is not. Similarly, training is only about me and what I do, or don't do. Carrying on in class even when my master thinks that 600 kicks followed by thirty minutes in horse stance is a normal warm up, is down to my mind over my body. Also, once shown a kata, is down to me to cement it into my mind, develop my understanding and then, test of tests, perform it under pressure. Mind and body working together. I am the only one who can fail.
What I had thought of until now as a sport practiced in order to be used against others, now seems to be a challenge for me alone. I'm not sure if this is a common feeling, but it feels quite lonely doing karate. I would add to that frustrating, but rather amazingly, I can do things now that I could not have done only four months ago. That in itself is incredible since I am not especially talented. I also look completely different then I did four months ago. I am thinner and more toned. I've dropped a dress size and feel better physically and mentally. For that I thank my master. Karate may be hard and it seems to me now lonely, but it is worth it!
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